matters of the heart
wow, thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. thanks for listening.
i have good news to report. this week has been slowly getting better! on monday and tuesday, i thought i was relapsing again into... well... whatever's been going on (another infection? ulcer? i've never felt so out of touch with my body), but wednesday went much better than most days in the last couple weeks. i actually got out of the house and spent a wonderful morning and afternoon with my valentine. the fresh air, the sun, the snow... i could tell as soon as i stepped out the door that my relationship with the great outdoors has been a little strained. you know i still love you, boo.
it's hard to ease back into to doing something, anything at all during the day. it's been a little emotionally bumpy to try to figure out what i can handle. underneath all the doing, what's buried deep in your heart - your motivations for doing things, your anger, your selfishness - rises to the surface in trying times and it's been hard to slow down and deal with it. as painful and revealing it can be, being honest and vulnerable with the people around you is always the better choice. maybe not everyone feels this, but i do.